"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she says. "What's your secret for a long, happy life?"

"I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, ever exercise."

"Twenty-six."

A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.

"Wow, that's amazing," says the woman. "How old are you?"